I have been seeing this woman for about 3 1/2 years now. Needless to say our relationships has been rocky. We go through periods of bliss to end in a sudden breakup by her. I have discovered that she has a huge fear of intimacy and low-self esteem. Over the last 5 months we both quit drinking and sought help through AA and individual counseling. We are currently apart however do to another sudden breakup when thing where doing great. She needed so time to work on her issues with her broken home and such. She doing well over the last few weeks and she has discovered that we enabled one another in our addictions and habits. I really wish to make this work out for us and I was wondering if there is a way to become aware of each other's enabling habits and put a stop to them. I would rather us be positive enablers to one another. I seem to be doing much better than her as I have not had drop to drink in over 5 months. She had a panic attack and when out 2 weeks ago. She has a better sponsor now and is dealing with her resentments. I only want to help her in her progress. I know she needs to do this on her own, but I feel the time apart might allow us to drift apart. I do not want this to happen. I fear that discussing a reconciliation will seem enmeshing or codependent. Is there a way for us to become useful partners to one another during this time?
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